Who Is Uncle Dale?

Uncle Dale ain’t really anyone’s uncle, but everyone calls him that because “Warning: Dale” didn’t fit on a mailbox. He’s the guy who once welded a lawn chair to a minibike and called it “urban transport.” He lives on energy drinks, paint fumes, and seasonal delusions of greatness.

Every Easter, Dale transforms into the “Bunny King” – camo boxers, pink ears, chrome belly ring, and zero shame. He airbrushes chrome flames on anything that holds still, including beer cans, rakes, and one time the preacher’s bass boat. That paint fight in 2019? Ended with a lit mobile home, two citations, and a standing ovation from three counties.

He once said, “Art don’t come from peace, it comes from gasoline.” And then he used a leaf blower to dry his eyebrows back on. Dale don’t care what holiday it is – he just needs a reason to wear something illegal and start a controlled burn.

He’s not part of the gang. He’s not in the church. But he’s always there – like fire ants and misunderstandings. Granny once told him, “You’ve got talent, Dale, just not where it’s safe.” Bubba calls him “my seasonal mistake.”

If you hear compressor noise and someone laughing too hard, it’s probably Dale…
…and he probably just spraypainted your fridge.

Legacy

Dale is a redneck holiday unto himself. Nobody invites him, but he always shows up – dressed wrong, drunk right, and ready to paint something sacred.

He’s not crazy. He’s tradition, soaked in beer and outlined in chrome.